We the unsuspecting parents are left in the dark about a lot of eventualities of parenthood. We parents are excellent at having 20/20 hindsight. This fact is what prompted me to start sharing my parenting adventures with the greater public. I feel that I owe it to the parents that haven’t quite travelled as far down this path as I have, to give them a heads up about what they might expect to materialise in their near future. Unfortunately though for other parents they must not rely on my information being one hundred percent applicable to their particular journeys.
This I have learnt on numerous occasions through the tough old teacher called experience. The most notable lesson that we have received as parents was when we decided to add a second member to our little brood. Now my limited knowledge of baking and biology suggested to me that if I was to use the same recipe and a similar amount of time in the oven then I should have a very similar result to the first one. Thus we proceeded with mixing the same ingredients, maybe with a slight variation in the time of day and mixing setup but nonetheless the same basic elements as our first effort were all included.
Right from that moment is where all the similarity stopped. Well okay I guess I lie slightly as the second one, Eden, is also a girl who is nearly the splitting image of her older sister Bella. Apart from these two notable similarities they are truly chalk and cheese. These differences were noted from birth. You would think that as babies there are not many difference in the way they are; they eat, sleep and defecated; often. This however is very far from the truth. From day one we noticed the vast difference in personality and behaviour between our two little girls. The first thing that we noticed was the way that Eden slept.
With Bella we could not put her down to sleep. This was perfectly acceptable to us as we practice the kangaroo care method of raising an infant. The problem with Bella was that she would not just go to sleep on you or in your arms. She would have to be rocked to sleep while one of us wary parental units would pace up and down with her in our outstretched arms. With Eden she was not fussed she would just happily lie down and go to sleep. She was even against the kangaroo care method; she preferred to be left in peace in her cot. The longer the two of them have lived with us the greater the difference in them we have noticed. We believe though that we have figured out why they are like they are.
It comes down to a simple fact so we believe. The behaviour can be attributed to left over influences from their respective past lives. Unfortunately for us we have managed to invite two Souls into our lives that lived at totally opposite sides of the spectrum with relation to the social scale of life. Without a doubt our Bella has in fact come to us in this life having being of high born breeding in her past life; yes we believe that she was in fact royalty before she joined us. On the other hand young Eden we believe to have been a homeless person. Let me illustrate why we feel this.
We will start with Bella. From a very young age she has been extremely highly strung. If something is not to her liking then you had better beware. You almost get the feeling that she wishes to yell “off with their heads”, except alas for her she no longer has access to the royal guard. We have breakfast stools for us to eat on. Two of the stools have cushions and the other two do not. Lady Bella will not under any circumstances place her delicate derriere on the seat with no cushion. She has adamantly told us that she can ONLY sit on a soft seat.
My wife, Julia, and Bella have recently relocated to Britain; with Eden and I to follow in the next few weeks. Upon arrival at Heathrow they had to make their way across London to Victoria station. On the tube from Heathrow there were no issues as they were first on. However they had to change at Hammersmith station and it being Monday morning rush hour it was a tad crowded. Unfortunately for the poor minions catching the tube with Bella, they had not remembered to provide her with a vacant seat to sit on. She apparently proceeded to have a right royal meltdown on the spot. What really convinced me that there is no doubt that she was once royalty was what she said to me during a recent trip home from school. We were driving along and she said to me in a very serious manner, “Daddy! I don’t want people to say no to me!”; alrighty then my little princess, enough said.
Now Eden on the other hand is as relaxed and nonplussed as they come. Like mentioned before she was the easiest baby to get to sleep, it was almost as if she was just happy to have a roof over her head. From the moment she became mobile she was obsessed with rubbish bins. Put her on the floor and she would head straight to the nearest one to have a look inside. With some effort and constant direction we have now managed to encourage her to stop this behaviour. This took us a while and now that she is two and a half we have very few incidents with the bin. She is quite capable of going over to one and putting rubbish in without lingering over the bin for too long. Occasionally she does have the odd relapse though.
A few weeks ago we were all around the kitchen counter waiting for Julia to finish cooking our dinner. I looked up from what I was doing and noticed that Eden had made her way over to our bin. She had the lid open and was peering inside. I asked her what she was looking for and she replied “Something to eat!” that is it my little hobo aim high.
Another thing that convinces me she was a hobo is her obsession with stones and bits of wood that with a bit of imagination could help her build a shelter. Just this last weekend we were at the beachfront and whilst the other children were expressing interest in the seagulls and shells there is little Eden showing an immense interest in the drain culvert which has clearly been used to provide shelter to some of her previous roommates!
So good luck all you want-to-be parents as all I can say is that there is one certainty when it comes to procreation; you never know what you are going to get when you spin that copulation wheel. The one certainty is that after that moment your life will never be boring again!