Grandparents perpetuate our suffering!

Maybe it is how we as parents will one day get our own back on our children for all the suffering that they inflicted on us when they were growing up.  We will team up with our children's kids and strive to make their lives hell when they choose to breed one day.

Granny and Granddad get away with murder when it comes to our kids.  Your little monster wants a sugary treat and Granny and Granddad hand it over without getting authorisation from us the parental units first.  They do this as they know that they will get to enjoy the child and will more than likely not have to deal with the creature that emerges after the sugar rush has died down.

This creature is irate, angry, irrational and generally not very pleasant to be around.  You cannot reason with a child who is crashing after a sugar high.  There is nothing that will fix them and we as the parents just have to deal with the results of Granny and Granddads well laid plans.

The grandparent’s torture extends further than just providing your little critters with sugar rushes.  They will purchase them things that need to be assembled.  As with our modern world these days things are about efficiency and cost cutting.  Thus nine times out of ten a new toy or piece of furniture will come flat packed in a box.  This means that the manufacturer saves on storage space and on labour costs as the idiot who opens the box now becomes the companies labour.  As usual with these items it says 'easily assembled' on the box.

This is a lie!  I am sure there are many people who will tell you about the trials and tribulations experienced whilst assembling these 'easily assembled' items.  Christmas Eve is meant to be a fun and relaxed time for the family.  Before the kids go to bed it might be but afterwards stress levels sky rocket.  This happens as countless parents of young kids find themselves trying to assemble the gifts that require assembly.  It is easier to try and do this before the morning as the little devils will not leave you to do it in peace once they have received their items.  A bicycle looks much better standing with a ribbon by the tree than flat in a box.

Our last Christmas Eve was spent trying to assemble a Wendy house and a bicycle both well thought out gifts sent by Grandparents who wanted us to suffer.  It is probably a good idea for these things to be assembled when the kids are not around as if they watch they may pick up a number of unsuitable words.

This year is going to be no different in our house.  My mother has gone out of her way to make our lives difficult.  As far as I can recall I was not that much trouble as a child but my mother seems to disagree with me on this one.  A few months ago when we were discussing the girls moving into the same room at the end of the year my mother said she would get them bunk beds for Christmas.  What a nice idea, if they came assembled! The beds do not so I have something awesome to look forward to; 8 hours of torture as I try and decipher the instructions that have been translated from Chinese by Google!

Granny must have been thinking that she could have done better in making Julia and my life difficult.  Last week Granny phones me to tell me that the taxman was kind to her and she would like to get the girls something else.  I am thinking books or DVD's, no assembly required.  No I am wrong.  With a snigger she tells me she is buying them a 10ft trampoline with a net!  Of course when it arrives it is in a box with 'easily assembled' written on the side!

We have derived a little bit of humour from this situation.  The boxes for the bed and now the trampoline are in the garage and the girls, especially Bella are very curious as to what they contain.  I have told them that they should learn to read as the contents are written on the side.  This is not Bella's only concern with regards to Eden moving in to her room.

She has gathered that when this happens then they will get bunk beds.  What she is extremely concerned about is how we will manage to get these big bunk beds into her room as the passage and the doorway are quite small.  I helped the situation by telling her that they can have the bunk beds but they will have to sleep outside in the garden.

So take heed of this warning and be wary when you see your children's grandparents approaching your kids with gifts as their motives may not be as pure as you think.

I Will Fart On Your Dreams - Available here